The end of every semester feels like the end of an era.

The Warmth.

I hate feeling like a hypocrite, but there's nothing I can do and that makes me hate it even more.
I hate not being able to feel ok, but I refuse to rely on pharmaceuticals.
And then I think about how all the hate is ridiculous. For some reason, all the bad things overshadow the good and that makes no sense. It makes no sense that there's a half hour show every night about all the crime that happened that day, and I have to search the corners of the internet to find news of people doing good.

I think I just might have to change that.

List.

I made a list.

Things that make everything better.

1)Underwear straight from the dryer
2)Seeing someone be nice to a stranger (holding the door open and whatnot)
3)Buying something on sale
4)Hearing a good song for the first time
5)Watching my cat curl up in a little ball and sleep
6)The smell of dryer sheets.
7)Burying yourself under your bed covers on a cold night.
8)Singing along with your friends to your favorite song(s)
9)Surprising people
10)Shaved legs on clean sheets
11)The inspiration you get after watching a really good movie
12)When song lyrics are printed inside your CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
13)Laughing so hard you cry
14)Being squished in the back of a car
15)Boys that smell good
16)Listening to a song I haven't heard in awhile
17)Having someone compliment you on something you're unsure about
18)Afternoon thunder
19)Looking back at old pictures that bring back good memories
20)Taking walks
21)Going to the library and checking out some new books
22)Playing frisbee
23)Watching the sun set
24)Running through sprinklers on hot days
25)Car washes
26)Making eye contact with random people in the street and smiling just because
27)Eating and talking at the table with family
28)Pete Wentz's real laugh-he sounds like Goofy.
29)Seeing elderly couples hold hands
30)Watching little kids playing around with bubbles.
31)Coloring.
32)Going up to a place to see the stars/city lights.
33)When I make obscure pop culture references and people understand them
34)Robots
35)Finding money in the pockets of old clothing
36)The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
37)Road trips.
38)The ride home after a good concert
39)Getting a letter through snail-mail.
40)The smell of a new cd booklet and listening to a cd for the first time, uninterrupted.
41)TAI TV.
42)Hand claps in songs
43)When my room is clean and I can find things
44)Listening to songs I used to love and still know all the words to
45)Making lists.

Of course...

So, I just made a line graph entitlted "changes in the level of skaniness during one year-Albuquerque."

My research showed that the level of skaniness of females in Albuquerque jumps significantly and stays at the maximum level throughout the months of June,July and August.
Interesting.

Yes, I know it's hot outside, but that does not mean that I want to see your ass cheeks hanging out the bottom of your "shorts."

Lake Tippecanoe

She spent the morning sitting in the park and sipping a cup of tea while softly humming to herself. She thought about the time when she was seven years old, and her family was on vacation at a relative's house they visited that summer on a lake, and her cousin was complaining that he'd forgotten his favorite mix tape at home. And in the shadow of the little wooden house, in the fading sunlight just after dinner, staring out at the overdeveloped coastline of a green-gray body of water with some Native American name she could never remember, she realized that not everyone had music in their heads, and she couldn't imagine how people lived like that.

I was about to come on here and complain about how I think I've lost my shadow and how I feel invisible.
But American Idol came on (lolshutup) and they're doing this show to raise money to give to poor kids in Africa.

And suddenly, my ability to disappear in a crowd doesn't seem as important as kids who struggle to be heard, but nobody's listening.

I wish I could give them more than 80 cents a day. It's amazing to see the hell they live in and then see them smile.


The wall screamed and humpty tumbled down in shock, shattering into a million sparkling pieces.

:)

The things that keep me going every day are the things I can't bring myself to write about. I'll never find the right words.

You're one of those things. As long as you stick around, I'll be ok.

You've got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat, eyes wide open, heart beating faster.